My Immortal
by TurboWiz70
Summary: Summary inside. Basically what I want to happen after I saw the new promo for Degrassi: Now or Never. Read, review, enjoy!


A one-shot I thought of after seeing the promo for Degrassi: Now or Never.

The title and story were inspired by "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Reviews please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi

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><p><span>My Immortal<span>

I am broken. I'm not referring to the fractured leg I received from the accident a month ago. I'm speaking of my broken heart . . . my broken soul . . . my broken everything.

I loved her more than life itself, but now she was gone. I made so many wrongs there was no way that I could set them right again. It was over.

I tried to accept that, but she was like a scar that would never heal. A beautiful scar that would remain on my flesh forever and never fade.

Everyone thinks I'm slowly mending. How stupid of them to think such a thing. I'm actually getting worse. I'm cracking and I know I won't be too long until I shatter. Until then, I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

Clare was not just some other girl. She was the love I wanted to hold onto forever. I didn't want to lose her or hurt her . . . but the cruel fact is that I did. My love for her got out of control and I turned possessive. It scared her. I turned unintentionally manipulative, and that made her leave me for good.

She wasn't going to change her mind. I hoped that she would after she ran out of my hospital room in tears that night. I knew my chances weren't good when she sat somewhere else at lunch and English. It took me a while, but after she deleted me off Facerange, I had no choice but to accept the fact that the damage caused couldn't be repaired.

Neither of us has tried talking to each other since that night. I had so much to say to her, but I knew that she wouldn't hear of it.

The night before the last day of school, I lied on my bed and thought of her. I thought of her laugh, her smile, her voice, and her eyes . . . those eyes . . . the most beautiful pair of blue eyes on the face of the Earth. I thought of her for the longest time when I realized I couldn't let this end. There was something still between us, so many words left unsaid, and I knew I had to do something.

I played out what I would say in my head the entire night. It was foolproof . . .

_I walk up to her as she opened her locker before she went home for summer break. I take my deep breaths and finally find my courage to speak._

_"Hi," I would greet her._

_She would turn around and seem surprised to see me._

_"You were completely right," I confess. "I was a jerk, I became manipulative, and I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't even know how I can begin to make it up to you. I still care about you _(I will avoid using the word 'love' so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable) _and I'm really sorry about everything."_

_She would respond then. I don't know how she would, so I just kept thinking about what I would say._

_"I was wondering if maybe we could give this another shot. I'll try not to make the same mistakes I did last time. I don't mean to put you on the spot, but please think about it."_

I replayed the words in my head over and over again until I knew them by heart. Now I was just anxious to see how she would respond.

()()

The final bell rang for the school year. I rushed out of my room and went straight to the hall where I would find Clare's locker. Sure enough, I turned a corner and saw her pulling out the remainder of her possessions.

Taking a deep breath, I began to walk down the hall towards her; I was prepared for the worst and hoping for the better as I ran the speech through my head one final time.

I am ten lockers away from her when I saw someone come to her side. I didn't recognize him. He's a bit taller than I am and he has light brown hair. I felt my heart stop beating as he put his hand on the small of Clare's back. I see a smile come to her lips and I feel anger.

I stopped breathing, I stopped thinking, and I stopped moving as I saw the image of Clare's smile as this guy stood next to her. They didn't see me, but I could hear their conversation.

"No PDA, remember?" she reminded him as she closed her locker.

"What are they going to do?" the stranger asked her. "Put us in detention on the last day of school?"

Clare grinned at him and nodded.

"Right you are," she said.

Then I witnessed the Gates of Hell open before me. Clare's lips touched his. I felt my already shattered heart disappear so there was nothing inside me. It was horrible to think that a few months ago, I was kissing those lips and not this guy. I used to be the one to make her smile and light up her eyes.

I was replaced. I was forgotten. She had moved on and now I was nothing more to her than a memory. Shaking in anger, hurt, and devastation, I turned on my heel and hurried out of the school.

()()

I sat in my room after crying a few tears. At four o'clock, I pulled out my phone and began texting a message to one person . . . Clare.

_I'm sorry for all I've done and what I do. I did it because I was scared and I cared about more than anything . . . I still do. I was willing to make up for all I've done, but I guess I waited too late. You've moved on and I know it isn't my place to care about what you do anymore, but the fact that you gotten over what we had so fast is causing me pain beyond relief. I want you to be happy, but always remember what we had. That's all I'll ask of you. Goodbye, Eli._

I reread the message and sent it. I never got a reply back.

()()

Five years passed. Clare and I have not spoken since that night in the hospital. I have not gone out with anyone since that year of Degrassi. I tried to move on countless times throughout my college, but I couldn't. In the back of mind, a voice told me to wait and to not date anyone. I don't understand why that voice continued to exist after many years, but it still rang through me every time I considered asking out a girl.

I was now a teacher at Degrassi. I didn't do much with my life other than teach. When I wasn't at school, I would either be at home or at a bookstore. It was very rare when I would do something otherwise.

Today I was looking through the bookstore. Instead of looking at the gothic or sci-fi novels, I went to a shelf I rarely went to. The romance books, for some reason or another, drew my attention.

I was skimming through the books when a book titled _Everlasting Heartache _caught my eye. But the title isn't what attracted me to it. The name was written in bold purple letters. They spelt Clare D. Edwards. I remembered that Clare's middle name was Diana, but I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up too high. It wasn't an unusual name, and I'm sure this book was published years ago and she had probably been married by now even if this was the same Clare D. Edwards.

Running on a hope, I picked up the book. I flipped to the back where there was a short biography about the author. I saw her. Her looked almost exactly like my memories of her, except her hair was a bit longer now. But I knew by her smile and her eyes that this was the same Clare I've been in love with for six years.

I began reading the short paragraph. It said that she graduated from college with a degree in Literature and Journalism. It also said that she lived alone in Toronto.

I knew that something could've changed when the book was published and she was probably with someone now. My curiosity got the best of me and I turned to the copyright. According to the print, it was only published last year.

Excited that I found a piece of Clare and that I knew she probably was single, I bought the book, went home to my apartment and began to read. It was beautiful and intriguing. The novel was a tragic love story about a young woman named Andrea falling in love with a man named Ben on a train, but they got separated because it crashed. The characters only knew each other for a few hours, but they knew that they were supposed to be together forever. They began traveling around the world to find each other again.

Ten years later, they found each other and lived happily-ever-after.

I stayed up all night reading it until I was finished. I started reading it at five o'clock on Friday night and I finished it at six o'clock the next morning. I cried during some of it, but I was amazed and impressed beyond belief. Clare was an amazing writer and she wrote an amazing novel.

I wasn't at all tired; instead I was pleased. Clare fulfilled her dream and that was brought me happiness. I don't remember the last time I felt this happy. As I read the book, it felt like she was there with me. Overwhelmed with joy and bizarre pleasure, I decided to read it again.

I opened the book again and I saw something I didn't see the first time I read it. I saw a dedication. It read . . .

_To Elijah, all is forgiven and I will be your Andrea if you will be my Ben._

For the first time in years, I felt a true smile on my face and an actual heart beating. She dedicated her first book to me, she granted me forgiveness for what happened all those years ago, and she was asking me to find her. I now felt the most unbelievable feeling in the world. I felt peace, salvation, and so much happiness that I thought I would combust.

I saw that it was only seven o'clock in the morning, but I waited for this moment for five years and I'm sure she'd also been waiting a while too. I grabbed the phone book and skimmed for her name.

I saw her name and her number in the book and I dialed it as quickly as I could. I heard two rings, then I heard an angel greet me, pull me out Hell, and welcomed me into Heaven.

"Hello."


End file.
